The Saiyan with the Affro
by Toon-Alligator
Summary: An-affro bearing saiyan appears on earth, and takes Bulma hostage to cure his illness. Bulma thinks Vegeta is dead, and falls in love with her captor, only to learn he's alive. Some light or implied Lemon. R&R!!!!
1. The Saiyan Rehmon

This story is rated PG-13 for some intense violence, some sexual referances or humor, and some drug and alchohal content. If you think it shoulds be rated R, tell someone who cares.  
  
Disclamier: I dont own DBZ or any other trademarked thing in this story.  
  
WARNIN'! If you are offended by the mention of Affro's (The big puffy curly hairdo) then do not read this. THIS STORY CONTAINS ABSOLUTLY NO RACISM, THOUGH.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------  
  
Chapter 1 The saiyan with the Affro  
  
(This story takes place RIGHT AFTER the Cell saga, like maybe a month after it. My Vegeta isn't very mean in this story because I have trouble writing mean people)  
  
Vegeta was drinking Tea in his chair. He was watching a very interesting program on TNT, and laughing at the guy on there, who had a big poofy hairdo that stood out in all directions. "BULMA!" He said. She came in. "What's on that dorks head?" It looked like the man's brain had exploded. "It's called an Affro hairdo." Bulma said. "And that guy can't help it so don't laugh." Vegeta laughed anyway. He didn't really care what she said. Baby Trunks was sitting in the floor and playing with some toys. He was a CUTE baby. He had a toy truck that rolled when you pushed it, and he wanted to show Vegeta. He coulden't stand or walk on his own yet, so he pulled himself up on the couch and shoved the Car in vegeta's face. "DA- DA.' He said. Vegeta made a horrible face at Trunks. "Go away, Trunks. I'm watching TV." Trunks threw the car in Vegeta's lap. Vegeta looked at the car with disgust. "EW." he said. He threw it across the room, and onto the balconey. It bounced through the bars and on to the ground. Trunks plopped down and crawled after it, but Vegeta didn't think anything of the situation. he was absorbed in TV. Trunks crawled out on to the balconey. The bars on the balconey were very wide, wide enough for a baby to slip through. First he reached his face hand out, but when he didn't touch it, he crawled. When he was halfway through the bars, Vegeta ran and snatched him up. "You stupid baby!" He said. "Don't you know not to climb through bars 40 feet above the ground?" Baby Trunks cried. Vegeta shut the sliding glass door to the baloconey and put Trunks in the crib. Geeta sat back down on the couch. he was really bored.  
  
Vegeta was just eating lunch, a PBJ sandwich, when he got a call. "It's for YOU!" Bulma said. Vegeta reached for the phone and grabbed it. It ws Piccolo. He was a drunk and a druggie. "hey Vegeta! I thin you should see somethin'! Come to South city ASAP!" "Why should I do that?" vegeta asked. "It's at least a 20 minute fly away." "It's important!" Piccolo said. "Plus, I have some refreshment!" Vegeta nodded. Then he remembered that Piccolo coulden't see him nod over the phone. "Mm hm. I'll be there soon. Keep your pants on." He got up from the table and wiped his mouth. "Good sandwich gotta go!" He grabbed his jacket because it was cold outside and started to leave. "WAIT!" Bulma said. "Your taking us with you! Your not leaving for 3 years like you did LAST time!" Vegeta rolled his eyes and tried his whiny voice. "But BUL-MA! I wanna go by myself!" Bulma shook her head. "Take us or I'll jam my foot up your *ss crack!" Vegeta had taken that experiance before, and it wasn't too nice. "Okay." He said. They stepped out into the front yard, and, Bulma on Vegeta's back, Bulma holding Trunks, they took off. "Hold that baby. I don;t want to hear you WHINE if you drop it." Vegeta said. "It's not an IT." Bulma said. She was gripey. Vegeta was groing to regret taking them. Sometimes you coulden't be around Bulma for 20 minutes. "There's a snowcone stand!" Bulma said, pointing below. "I want a snow cone! NOW!" Vegeta shook his head. "Bulma, I told Piccolo I would be there ASAP!" Bulma didn't care. "Trunks wants one too, so YOUR going to get us one!" She started slapped Vegeta. "Okay, okay!" He said. "Gosh, Husband abuse!" He flew down. Bulma and Trunks got a snowcone, while Vegeta waited. SOMEWHAT patiently. "Do you have a quarter?" Said a bum. Veggie shoved a quarter on the guys eye. He ran away. Bulma and Baby Trunks came back with the snow cones. "OKay, are we FINALLY ready?" Vegeta asked. They both nodded, though trunks was just imitating his mother.  
  
Piccolo, Krillin, Chi Chi, Gohan and a little boy who was only about a month old named Goten were down on the ground at South City. When Vegeta landed, Bulma immediatly went to Chi Chi to see the new baby, and Vegeta went to Piccolo. "What's this imporant thing you wanted to tell me, Piccolo?" Piccolo pointed at a teliscope. "I called everyone here because of something I saw in THERE." he said. "What was it, a cool star formation?" Vegeta asked. he wanted to see it. "No." Piccolo whispered, and took a drink of beer. "It was something else. I want your woman to take a look at it." Vegeta nodded. He was disgusted because he could smell alchohal on Piccolo's putrid breath. "Bulma, come over here!" Vegeta said. "I think Piccolo wants you to look at something!" the others gathered around as Bulma looked through the lens. She hummed as she moved the squeaky telescope from side to side. Then the teliscope stopped. "Oh SH*T!" Bulma said. "What is it?" Chi Chi asked. "The big dipper??" Bulma shook her head. "Worse! It's a Saiyan Space pod!" Everyone stared at her for a moment, and busted out laughing. "A Saiyan Space Pod? You stupid idiot!" Krillin said. "Planet Vegeta isn't around any more! Explain how that could be possible." Bulma screamed in Krillin's face, "I DONT KNOW, BUT ITS RIGHT THERE!" Vegeta took a look. he had to move the telescope lens a little down because the space pod was moving so fast. "She's right." He said. "That's a Saiyan Space pod alright." Chi Chi looked up. By now it was so close she could see it with the naked eye. "Guys, I think we'd better move before we get smashed." Said Piccolo. Everyone started running in seperate directions, but the Saiyan pod was too fast for the drunk Piccolo. It landed on his back end and crushed his legs. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" Piccolo said. "My legs! My beautiful legs!" Vegeta ran over and tried to tug Piccolo out. "No use, man. Your like that for life." Piccolo sobbed. "VEGETA, Get over here before the Saiyan comes out!" Bulma said. He tugged on Piccolo a couple more times, shrugged, and ran back with his wife and kid as the Saiyan door swung open. A large cloud of smoke came out. Bulma waved a hand in front of her face. "HES A HEAVY SMOKER." She said, pointng out the obvious. She noticed a Saiyan elastic boot was the only thing outside the smoke. It was a pretty muscular leg, she could tell. "What kind of Ki do you get from this guy?" She asked Vegeta. Vegeta concentrated. "Dunno. He's hiding it." He replied after a long moments silence.  
  
When the smoke cleared, it was more funny than ANYTHING. A saiyan, they presumed, because of the boots and space pod, but....For some stupid reason, he was covered in green face paint on his arms and everything! Other than that he wore a white muscle shirt and light blue spandex. His tail was out. But there was something realoly weird about it. When the Saiyan got out, he stepped on Piccolo's head. he saw the others. "Cool!" He said in a deep, young sounding voice. "Hi you guys!" He said. They were all cracking up. "What?" He asked. "I'm very touchy about being made fun of, you know!" Bulma took out a baby whipe and began wiping off his face and arms, until the green was gone. "Thanks, lady." Said the Saiyan. "I'll explain the green paint. Okay my parents rode in that space pod right before planet vegeta got blowed up, so they rode to Namek and screwed and had me, and then they died. I lived on Namek a long time and I had to wear this green face paint so they woulden't judge me." Piccolo sputtered, 'My people are awful idiots if they can't tell a green sayain from a Namek." The Saiyan shrugged. "So....why the H*ll are you hiding your ki?" Vegeta asked. "Oh, am I?" Asked the Saiyan. He let it out. "WOW." Bulma said as she saw the look on Vegeta's face. "Why-he's stronger than Kakarott!" He said. "Cool!" Chi Chi said. Vegeta wanted to kill the guy. Mr. Saiayn turned around. "The green Namek is stuck under the pod." Said The saiyan. Bulma observed his tail. It was curled and a bell was tied to it. "Why is there a bell on your tail?" She asked. The Saiyan turned around. "I like the sound of bells." Bulma noticed how extremely handsome this Saiyan was, like most Saiayns were. But this one had Vegeta BEAT. He had somewhat SIMPLE hair for a saiyan! It was flat and black except for some bangs like Goku's and two spikes in the front. But he was really muscular and everything. "What's your name?" Bulma asked him, in a daze. "My name is Rehmon. It means Lemon!" Nobody had asked him for an explaination, but Bulma didn't care. Lemon can mean something sour, or something very nasty. "So, Rehmon." Vegeta said. "What brings you to this crapy planet right now?" Rehmon shrugged. "It seemed like a nice enough place to live, and I always wanted to be a clown." Bulma thought this awkward. "This is Chi Chi, Gohan, Goten, Krillin, Vegeta, Piccolo and My baby, Trunks." Rehmon nodded. "The babie's cute." he said. "So are YOU!" Said Chi Chi. She fugured since Goku was dead she could hit on Rehmon. "You can still become Ozaru, right?(Ozaru is the monkey form. I think that's the word for it) Rehmon nodded. "If I see the full moon. But I susually don't look because I don't have any need to become a giant, ugly, stinky monkey. Who would want to?" Vegeta grunted. Rehmon walked over and pulled Piccol out from under the space pod. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to crush your legs." Rehmon lit up a cigeatte and puffed. "My one weakness." he said. "I can't live without cigerattes." Vegeta was doing some serious thinking. "If your stronger than Kakarott already, then you must be REALL strong in Super Saiyan." Vegeta said. Rehmon nodded.  
  
"Please go SS for us." Bulma said. "I bet your even sexier like that." Rehmon looked at the ground. "I'm not sure if you would think so. I don't really like going Super Saiyan in front of people..." He kicked some dust. Gohan patted him on the back. "It's okay. You don't have anything to hide." Rehmon chuckled. "You have no idea." He moved his tail and the bell jingled. Gohan vilontly grabbed his tail. "If you make that bell sound one more time, I'll rip it off!" Said the child. "HEY!" Rehmon said. He got up and turned to face Gohan. "If there's one thing i hate, it's people who make fun of me, kid! If you dont go away and leave me alone I'll blow your head off!" Gohan ran away crying as the man sat back down. "You have temper problems." Said Vegeta. "Maybe you should see someone about that." Rehmon glared at Geeta, who recoiled. "Let's go home, Bulma. He's too chicken to show us his SS technique. I'll bet he can't even do it!" Rehmon got up. "Yes I can! I swear I can!" Vegeta laughed. "No, we all came here for nothing. Your a weak @$$ who's a chicken sh*t as well." "Vegeta.." Bulma said. Vegeta moved away from her. "He's so stupid he.........he's stupid! And he crushed Piccolo!" Piccolo moaned. Rehmon was getting very mad. "Shut up, you stupid head!" He screamed. "Look! He can't even think up good insults." Everyone was telling Vegeta to hush. "FINE!" Rehmon spat. "I'll go SS if it will make you shut your ugly mouth!" Vegeta opened his mouth to say something about the ugly comment, but it was interrupted by laughter. Horrible peals of laughter. Rehmon had gone SS....and his somewhat normal hair had gone POOF! Right into a curly, kinky affro that stood about 2 and a half feet on his head. Vegeta was rolling. He swore his guts were splitting.  
  
"Lookit that guy!" vegeta said. "His hair is everywhere!" Baby Trunks was laughing, imitating his dad. "I'll bet those Nameks turned their @$$es and ran every time you did this! You look like a big sheep's on your head!!!" He laughed horribly someore. "Vegeta, SHUT UP!" Bulma said. "He's getting really mad." She pointed at the Saiyan. The bell on his tail was still. His affro barely shifted in a huge wind gust. Piccolo moaned and groaned some more. "I DONT LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE MAKE FUN OF ME!!!!!" Rehmon shouted. he shot a series of powerballs at Vegeta, who dodged them all. "Holy Sh*t! You DO need anger managment!" He said when Rehmon was done. "Your really strong. Maybe you should be more careful." Chi Chi said. "MAYBE YOU SHOULD SHUT UP!" Rehmon said, and he shot Chi Chi with a weak ki blast. She screamed. "Do you have Dragonballs on this useless planet that I could destroy any minute?" Rehmon said. "because they may be your only hope!" His power level was climbing. "Yes, you B*st*rd!" Vegeta said. Rehmon seemed completely oblivious to the cuss words he was using. "But you need a dragon radar, or you'll never find them. What do you want them for??" Rehmon laughed evilly. "First, I want to wish away this affro! Everyone makes fun of me for it! Second, I want YOU dead!" He pointed at Vegeta. "We're cool though, right?" Bulma asked. Rehmon nodded. "Of course!" He said. "But give me a dragon radar! I want the dragon balls!" Gohan spit on Rehmon's shoe. "No way, you scum. We're not giving them to YOU. The dragonballs need to be used for a common good, not just for an affro gone!" Rehmon screamed. "If I don't get me some dragonballs, I might have to FIND them myself! And if that happens, I'll blow things up! And if I get frustrated, I'll destroy the planet!" Vegeta got up off the ground and dusted off. "There's some dragon nests in the hills over that way. You can have THEIR balls." Rehmon shot Vegeta with a ki blast. Vegeta was knocked into a cliff and he screamed and fainted. "This is your last warning!" Rehmon said. "You'll be hearing from me soon!" He went back to normal and flew away. Gohan had to cover his ears at the annoying bell sound. Everyone was staring up at the sky in awe. "What the Hell was that?" Asked Piccolo. The Space pod was still on his legs. Vegeta was struggling to walk back over. "That almost killed me. He's a freak! Did you see that curly tail? It was like a lemur or something." Gohan nodded. "And that bell! I couldv'e choked him with it!!!" Vegeta hovered off the ground a couple of feet. "Kakarott's brat, let's go see if we can find him. Bulma, give me a dragon radar so I can find the dragonballs before he does." Bulma tossed him one. "Be careful honey. Be back by six! That's dinner time!" Vegeta nodded. "Buh bye!" he said, and they flew off  
  
Vegeta and Gohan were flying over and ocean. Veggie had his eyes closed. "Do you sense his ki?" Gohan asked. "Because I sure do. I think he's on Ammebo island." Vegeta opened his eyes and nodded. "That's what I was thinking too, but why would he be there? There's no people there. It's just a little green island." Gohan thought a while. "Maybe it's that city below Ammebo island. I can't remember for the life of me what it is, but I know it's there." Vegeta looked down and saw Ammebo island. There was indeed a city beneath it. "Your right, kid." Vegeta said. "There's Rehmon. But why isn't he looking up? He should be able to sense our ki." Gohan shrugged. "Beats the hell out of me. Let's see if we can land behind him and beat him up." Gihan was about to land, but Vegeta stopped him. "We don't have any place to hide. Besides--he can SURELY sense our ki down there, even if we're trying to hide it. Which would probably be a good idea right about now." Gohan nodded and they hid their kis the best they could up in the air without falling. It was a hard task to do. "Okay." Gohan said. "What do we do now? See if he's around any dragon balls?" Vegeta looked on the radar. The little orange lights were everywhere. But the closet one was in the city down below. "It's in the city down below!" Vegeta exclaimed. "I wonder if he knows it's down there, or if he's just sitting there thinking?" Gohan shrugged. "Let's go get it--" But he stopped mid-scentence because they noticed Rehmon was taking off. he was Very, very fast, and headed down to the city. "Let's catch up to him and try to knock him out!" Vegeta said. "That'll be easy...if he doesnt know we're there. Cuz if he goes super saiyan, I might die laughing before he has a chance to kill me!" Gohan nodded. "Okay? You ready?" Vegeta nodded. "Ready. Let's GO!" They took off as fast as they could toward Rehmon. His head wasn't turned; he didn't realize they were there! Gohan was about to do a volleyball spike on his head, but he was a tad too fast. he was so strong that he could stay ahead of them by a foot. He turned around. "YOU!" He said, and started firing blind ki blasts. "The only reason you would be here is--" he looked at Vegeta's dragon radar. Then he hatched a plain. "If there's a dragonball here! I have to get it!" He turned and zipped a little ways to make them think he was going to the city. But he turned around and ki'd Veggie in the stomach, who's fist came unclenched and the dragon radar went from his hands. Vegeta fell to the ground. Gohan zipped down and caught the radar right before it hit the ground, and decided the best thing to do was run from Rehmon. He flew as fast as he could. Vegeta was wobbly getting up. "Hey Gohan! Thanks for waiting for me, god!" Vegeta took off as Gohan waited. "You aren't going anywhere until I get my dragon radar from you!" Rehmon said. "I'm going to get those dragon balls, and I want them NOW!" He raced toward Vegeta and Gohan. Gohan, panicking, tried the trick his father had sometimes done with him in training. He put his cheek against Vegeta's cheek and they put their hands togather(Like in the episode where they're inside of Buu). They aimed at Rehmon, who was laughing at their little pose. "Ready?" Gohan asked. Vegeta nodded, because he didn't like this at all. Gohan did a Kamehameha wave and Vegeta did a Big Bang. Both the attacks together were very powerful. They raced at Rehmon and collided with him, knocking him 14 feet into the side of a cliff and knocking him out. Then Gohan and Vegeta split.  
  
"Do you want to come to my house?" Gohan asked. "Maybe we should bunk in the same house in case we need to temporarily take care of Rehmon again." Vegeta shook his head. "I need to go home to my wife and son. Call me if there's any trouble." Gohan nodded and waved as Vegeta flew off, but Vegeta didn't wave. he was too worried about Rehmon. He didn't think Gohan and the others realized how strong he was.  
When Vegeta got to Capsule corp, Trunks was asleep in his crib and Bulma was doing sit ups in the floor. When he waked in, Bulma ran over to greet him. "hello, Vegeta." She said, giving him a kiss. "Hello." Vegeta grumbled. he threw his armor on the couch and flounced. "My abs don't feel that hard yet." Bulma said, sitting down next to Vegeta. "You said they would be!" Vegeta had to think of something to say. He had just told her that so she would leave him be. "They're getting there." Vegeta said, patting her thigh. "Dinner ready yet?" he asked. He noticed a pot of noodles on the stove. "No." Bulma said. "It's only 5:30. So how did it go with Reymond??" Vegeta snorted. "It's Rehmon. And you know what? His name means lemon. lemon can mean SEX! His name means SEX!" Bulma rolled her eyes. "Well how did it go?" vegeta pulled out the dragon radar. "He tried to take this, but we managed to keep it away from im. Then we blew him into a cliff and knocked his @$$ out. Don't think he'll be up asy time soon." He looked at Bulma on the couch. She was in a daze. "What's wrong with you?" Vegeta asked. he got up. "I was thinking about Rehmon. He's sexy." Said BUlma. She was in a dream like state. Vegeta felt a pang of jelousy. "Your in love with a mass freakin murderer?" he said, opening the boiling water pan and grabbing a noodle. He thought he was indestructible, but the boiling water burnt his hands. "Not in LOVE with him. He's just hot." Said Bulma. "And he didn't kill anyone yet." Vegeta raised his hand. "He's almost killed me twice now. And that kid of Kakarotts." He heard baby Trunks start to cry. "Oh no." Vegeta said. "Now I will have to listen to him for 30 minutes." Bulma shut Trunks' bedroom door. "I'm not even going to get him." Vegeta thought that was cruel. he got another noddle; earned another burn. His fingers were red. "Rehmon has an AFFRO." Said Vegeta. "Did you notice that?" Bulma nodded.  
  
"SOMEONE HELP ME!" Waild Piccolo. His legs were crushed underneath the Space Pod still because no one bothered to get him out. His feeling in his legs was gone.  
  
Rehmon got up from his knock out. He felt dizzy and dazed. As he got up, his bones creaked and groaned. He looked at his scraped up hands and decided he wanted to kill some people and then he wanted to smoke some crack. He decided that he wanted to kill people because he was mad. But then he remembered the dragon ball in the city. The one Vegeta and Gohan had forgotten about. He decided to let the people of the city live while he searched for it. Then he would kill them when he found it.  
  
"OH SH*T!" Vegeta said, sitting up in bed. "What's wrong?" Bulma asked, sitting up next to him. "That D*mn dragonball! There was one in the city below Ammebo island, and me and Gohan forgot to get it before we left so Rehmon coulden't get it!" Vegeta punched their water bed. Bulma was worried he would wake up Trunks in the next room. "Shhhh!" She said. "Call Gohan and tell him that you need to go get it! NOW!" She shoved him out of bed. He thumped on the floor. "D*mn you!" he said. "I'm not calling Gohah at this hour. I don't have THAT much respect for him. Besides, Rehmon's stupid. He won;t find it before morning." "Are you sure?" Bulma asked. "If he does, I won't buy you any ice cream this week." She layed back down. Vegeta did the same. He really wanted ice cream so he decided he WOULD call Gohan. He picked up the phone and dialed, and Bulma picked up the other phone to listen. "Hello?" Said a sleepy voice. "Whoever has the nerve to call this late must be seriously disturbed." It was Chi Chi's voice. Vegeta grunted. "I need to talk to your son RIGHT NOW. It's urgent, and us being the two strongest around, I think--" Chi Chi handed it to Gohan. "Hello?" Said Gohan. he didn't sound like he had been asleep. "Was mom rude? I told her I wanted to kick her @$$." Vegeta laughed. "That's nice. We all feel like that sometimes. Now stop rambling so I can get to the point. We forgot to get the Dragonball out of the city. Rehmon knows its down there. He's probley already looking for it if he hasn't already found it." Gohan yawned. "Oh yeah. Sh*t." He thought. Vegeta took the floor to talk again. "But I think if he does have it, we can get it away from him tomarrow." Gohan paused for a while. "Are you SURE?" he asked. "Yes." Vegeta said. "I need my sleep to regain energy anyway. I took a mighty big fall today." he had a big old knot on his head. "Alright." Gohan said. "Seeya tomarrow at 11:00." "Tomarrow at 11 it is." Vegeta said. Then he hung up and layed back down. "You two are stupid." Bulma said. "If he has that Dragonball, and you can't get it away from him, he might find the others and wish YOU dead, then he'll blow up the world. You know, I think he needs to be on Prozack or something because he has some major mental problems." Vegeta remembered his heavy smoking problem.  
  
Rehmon looked in a cute little cave. There was a bunch of bats in the cave. He saw a shiny orange thing in the cave and wondered at once weather it was the dragonball. "Are dragonballs orange?" He said to himself. Some of the bats fluttered their wings. He thought they were, so he reached in the cave and went to grab it. He grabbed a bat instead. He didn't expect it to do what it did. But it fluttered and gnashed and gashed with its teeth! Rehmon knew that bats usually went limp when you grabbed them. But thism one bit the H*ll out of his hand and tore it up with his claws. Rehmon screamed and threw the bat 1,000 feet down to the earth. He didn't see the splat, but he was sure it was present. He looked at his hand. The bite marks and scratches were beginning to swell around the edges. He killed all the bats with a Ki blast and grabbed the Dragonball. It was shiny and smooth. Rehymon loved it. Then he noticed the bat had Sh*t on his hands and he thought that was nasty.  
  
"Okay. If I was Rehmon where would I be?" Gohan asked. Vegeta shrugged. "If I had a big affro when I went Super Saiayn I'd be in the assisted suicide office." Gohan shrugged. "Maybe we should check THERE first." He looked at the Dragon radar for the first time that morning. What he saw was horrifying to him. "Um, Vegeta, look at this." He said and he pointed to the point the Dragonball had been at. It was gone, but the blinking light was moving very fast now, and luckily the blinking moving one wasn't going near a Dragonball. "There's the dragonball Rehmon has." Vegeta said, pointing at the one that was moving across the screen. It quickly went out of range. "He went out of range! We lost him!" Gohan said. He felt like crushing the radar. Vegeta looked around at all the Dragonballs on the screen. "There's not one in range but one." Vegeta said. "And that's a three hour flight. What if we run into Rehmon?" Gohan shrugged. "I dunno. But we have to get it before he does so he doesn't wish his Affro away." Vegeta looked at Gohan. "You stupid, the affro isn't why we don't want him using them. It's because he's going to kill me, and that's bad." "Why doesn't he just do it himself?" Gohan asked. "Gosh, lazy." Vegeta shrugged. "He might decide to, I reckon. So let's go get the D*mn thing before he does." Gohan nodded and they strated flying.  
  
OKay, the radar says the ball is around this area." Gohan said. It was about a mile raidius that the ball could be in. "We don't need the dragon radar right now, so I'll turn it off." Gohan turned it off to save batteries. Vegeta looked under a pile of leaves, but all he saw were slugs. They were in a really tropical forest type thing. "It's not here!" Vegeta said. He kicked a rock aside. It looked like a patato. "Maybe it's in some sleeping monkey's belly." Gohan said. "Did you know monkey's shove peanuts up their butts? Maybe a gorilla shoved the dragon ball up his?" Vegeta laughed. "No monkey is big enough to shove a DRAGONBALL up his hole. Now be reasonable. Besides, that would hurt." He moved more wet leaves aside.  
  
As Rehmon completed his circle he had been flying in for his morning excersise, he noticed two strong ki's on the southern continent. They were in the tropical forest. "Ah ha!" Rehmon said. "I will find them and get the dragon radar from them. Then I'll kill Vegeta. Then I'll wish my affro away." He checked his watch. Just above it, he noticed how ugly the bat bites from last night were looking. He shunned them off and read the time. 2:00 PM. "Pleanty of time to get there." he said. It was only thirty minutes from where he was now, and if he flew his fastest, 15. But he wanted to save his energy so that he would have a lot of fight in him when he met up with Gohan and Vegeta. So he just flew moderatly enjoying the scenery. Then he remembered his dragonball! They were smart enough to figure out that the only moving dragonball on the radar was the one Rehmon had, so if they had seen the radar, surely they would be running. But they weren't. He was hiding his ki, so they coudlen't sense him. The Radar was still turned off, and Rehmon figured this. They had no idea he was coming!  
  
"I can't find it!" Vegeta said. "I'm turning on the radar to make sure we haven't gone astray from the area." he turned it on, just to see something surpraising. A moving Dragonball was right above their heads! He cranked his neck to turn, but before he could, he was knocked down and the Dragon Radar was flung from his reach. "D*mn! D*mn you affro man!" He kicked like a donkey to try amnd get him off, but he coulden't. He went to Super saiayn and flew up as fast as he could and flipped around trying to get him off. Rehmon held on tight and shot a KI blast at Gohan from the air. It knocked Gohan out, and Rehmon zoomed down. He grabbed the radar. "AH AH!" he said, and looked at it. "Oh sh*t!" Vegeta said, and he shot Golagon Fire at Rehmon he was hit by them, but they only knocked him four feet. Rehmon raised the dragon radar to look at it and-- It was broken. a wire was sticking out of the top of it, and the button spring was loose. The glass was shattered. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Rehmon said. vegeta laughed. But now they coulden't find Dragonballs! Rehmon hadn't seen the dragonball in this area, so Vegeta hoped he and Gohan could find it after Rehmon left. Rehmon screamed and flew off, royally P*ssed. Gohan woke up. "What happened? Did he get the radar?" Vegeta was so tired that he fell from the air. All the flips and Golagon fires had drained his energy. As he hit his head on a log, he said, "Nope. It's broken. He'll never get it." Gohan sighed. "That's good. Only now we'll have to find them the old fashioned way." They were about to take off, even though they vcould barely do it, when they heard a bang. A HUGE bang. A BIG BANG!! Vegeta shot up in the air, sapping away more energy. He stared at a pretty darn ugly scene. As a huge powerball exploded a city, bodys flew in the air. He killed the people in the city below Ammebo island!" Vegeta said. Gohan flew up, but his flying was shaky. He could barely stand it because of the ki blast that had been shot his way. "D*mn!" Gohan said. Vegeta nodded. "Yep. Let's go see Bulma to make another radar. It will take her a while, but that's better than nothing." Gohan nodded. "How long do you think it will take?" Vegeta shrugged. "I don't know, but he's too stupid to find any dragon balls without any radar. But first, let's look around here for the dragon ball." Gohan had to land now because he was starting to fall. When he landed, he was breathing hard as well as Vegeta. "I.....think it's over here." Gohan said. He pointed into a bundle of bushes. Vegeta looked in and saw the familier orange glint. "That's it!" he said. "Are there any animals in there?" Gohah shook his head so Vegeta reached under and got it. he handed it to Gohan. "I don't know about you, but I need a ride." Vegeta said, and he took out his cell phone. He called Bulma to come get them.  
  
When Bulma, Vegeta and Gohan got to Capsule corp, Bulma gave them food and water to help with their energy. "After your done get a Senzu bean and then do whatever." Bulma said. "The Dragon Radar will take me about three days. It's very complicated." Vegeta nodded. "Don't you think yuo'd better get to work on it then? Time is money." Bulma nodded. "As soon as your done and I give you The senzu bean." Vegeta shoveled his sandwich. "Done. Give is the bean." Bulma handed them one, and Vegeta felt his energy rush back at him with every chew. "Thanks." he said. "Get to the lab, Bulma. Me and Gohan will go into the GR and train while your working on it. I set it to 450 times gravity kid, so if you can't take it then shoo!" Gohan nodded. "I can take 500 times!" He lied. "Okay, then thats what we'll set it to." They got up and went out there.  
  
about a day and a half after the DR was broke, Bulma opened the door to the gravity room. Everything shut off. "BULMA, I told you to knock before you come in here! Everything stops! I don't know how many times I've told you that!" Bulma had a sad look on her face. "Vegeta, I have some back news." He slung a towel over his bare shoulders. "What is it?" Vegeta asked. "Did you STAIN your tennis shoes?" Bulma shook her head. "No, you B*st*rd. I was about halfway through with the Dragon Radar, when I noticed my hands were dirty. But that doesn't matter. It noticed I didn't have enough parts to do it! I need three parts! They will take 6 weeks to deliver--EACH!" Vegeta's mouth gaped. "That's 18 weeks!! D*mn it, Bulma! It will be easier just to find them the old way!" Vegeta was really mad. He stromed past her. "It's not my fault!" She said. "YES IT IS!" He said. He wanted to push her on the table. Vegeta grabbed a Vase and broke it against the TV. "STOP IT!" Bulma said. Vegeta looked at her mad. Suddenly he realized he was very horny. But he didn't let that get in the way. But he DID calm down a little. "Bulma, are you SURE you dont have the parts?" She nodded. Vegeta slapped on a shirt. Unfortunatly it was one of Bulma's. "D*mn! " Bulma said. "You do look sexy in floral print." Vegeta looked down at himself. "Hey, maybe I'll go out like this." he said. "I DO." Bulma laughed and put on one of Vegeta's shirts. He looked at her funny and took off her shirt. Then he put on his. "We're leaving." Vegeta said suddenly. "And i don't know when we'll be back. Not until this is taken care of." Bulma looked at him with hate filled eyes. "WHAT?" She said. "That could take YEARS! You can't leave me to take care of the baby by myself for YEARS!" She pointed at the baby who was playing in the floor. Vegeta looked guilty. "I'm sure it won't take that long." He said. Bulma pushed Vegeta into the coat rack. That Geeta growled and grabbed Bulma's wrists. "Watch it!" He said. "And if I find out anything about you and Yamcha I'll KILL Yamcha!" Vegeta said, laughing. Bulma knew this was an understatement. "Ya right!" Bulma said. "But at least Yamcha's not a deadbeat daddy! First you left for a while, then you came back and now you want to leave again?" Vegeta nodded. "I don't want to, i HAVE to!" He walked away and looked at the fishy tank. "I'll stay for tonight." Vegeta said. "But tomarrow I have to go. I'm leaving a list of rules. Rule number one, don't eat my peanut butter while I'm gone unless you buy more. You never know when I'll come home. Second, remember that chimps stick peanuts up their @$$es. Third, always keep your cell phone close because I'm bringing mine, and fourth, remember to feed my fishes." He looked again at his fish than looked at Bulma. She was sitting on the bed in tears. "Oh no." Vegeta said. "Don't cry!" She didn't listen. Vegeta was subconsiously kinda mad that she didn't listen. He sat down on the bed. "What's the matter with u?" Vegeta asked. "You won't miss me that much. If you do, maybe you need some help. You shoulden't be that attached to someone." Vegeta just wasn't a good person to talk. Bulma wrapped her arms around that sitting Vegeta. She cried into his shirt. He rolled his eyes. Baby Trunks was looking at them weirdly. "To make you feel better, you could cook me some dinner?" Vegeta asked, patting her on the back. "We can order Pizza." Bulma said. "I don't feel like cooking! And Trunks doesn't want you to leave, see?" Trunks wasn't even looking at Vegeta. Vegeta thought maybe Bulma was delirious. There was a knock at the door. "Mr Vegeta! I'm hungry!" Gohan said. "Order some Pizza Hut!" Bulma sobbed, and she layed on her tummy. Vegeta just went out.  
  
Later, when Vegeta had only eaten 4 peices, Bulma came out with trunks on her hip. Her eyes were red rimmed and puffy. "Whats wrong, Mrs. Bulma?" Asked Gohan. Are you upset because it's that time of the month?" Bulma looked suprised. Vegeta blushed crimson. "How do you know about that when your only 9? Vegeta's 31 and I had to TELL him a while ago!" "I Didn't ask to know." Vegeta quickly added. Then he went into the bathroom to hide his embarrasment. "He's very bashful." Bulma said. Gohan nodded. "I noticed." Baby Trunks had some Pizza and he was eating it. Vegeta came out and took another bite with out a word. Bulma sat by him. "You guys should think it over." Bulma said. "I could have those parts here in 18 weeks. Then it would only take you 2 days tops to find them, and you could stay here!" Vegeta shook his head. "We can't waste 18 weeks. Rehmon will kill other people." Bulma nodded and took a small bite of pizza. "What is there about VEGETA you will miss?" Gohan asked. "Me, I'd be glad to have a jerk like him outta my hair." Bulma sobbed somore, and Vegeta gave a death look at Gohan.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------  
  
End of Chappie one. R&R! If you have flames, go ahead and let them fly. But remeber whatever you say is only your opinion, and that's the only thing I will think of it as. If you have anything mean to say, don't think it's going to make me sad or angry one bit. As you've all heard, Opinions are like @$$holes. Everyone has one, but no one wants to smell yours if it stinks. But like I said, FLAMES ARE OKAY! 


	2. Bulma gets hungry

Disclaimer: I dont own DBZ  
  
Last time: The Siayan Rehmon arrived on earth after being born to parents who had been living on Namek. He went Super Saiayn, and he had an affro. Vegeta got mad, and made fun of him, and now Rehmon wants to get the dragonballs to wish away his affro, kill Vegeta, and destroy the planet. rehmon found one dragonball, and Gohan and Vegeta found one. The Dragon radar was broken, so Gohan and Vegeta are going to leave this morning to try and find them the old fashioned way. rehmon was bit by some anggry bats. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------  
  
Chapter 2  
  
It was the morning Gohan and Vegeta were scheduled to leave. Vegeta had everything packed, as Well as Gohan. They were ready to leave, but Bulma didn't want them to. She was being very clingy. "Make sure you packed underwear." She kept saying between sobs. "I can't beleive your leaving your poor old wife and son to live by themselves for who knows how long." Bulma was trying the guilt trip on Vegeta, and, it was working wonders. Vegeta had a little backpack full of clothes and stuff was all. It was VERY small. Gohan did too. "Stop making me feel so bad." Said Vegeta. "You know it has to be done." Bulma sat trunks down on the bed and began putting socks and shoes on him. "What are you doing?" Vegeta asked. "Whewre are you two going? Out to the courtyard?" Bulma shook her head. "We're coming with daddy, right trunks? He can't get rid of us that easy." Vegeta jumoed up. "NO, YOU ARE NOT COMING WITH 'DADDY'! YOUR GOING TO STAY HOME, GOT IT? Bulma shook her head. "We're not changing our mind. You can't make us." Vegeta ripped out a chunk of hair. Sometimes he wished he had never met her. "You'll get HURT, or KILLED, or sick!" He ripped the socks off Trunks feet. Gohan stood in the corner through all this. Bulma started putting them back on. "This will be a great bonding experiance." Vegeta slapped his head. "Your not coming, got it?" They continued arguing for two hours, and Vegeta compromised. "Alright." He said. "YOU can come. NOT our son. Babys need all that milk and stuff, and we can't get that." Bulma looked at Trunks. Vegeta thought he had won. He knew she woulden't go anywhere without her baby. "I'll leave him with Chi Chi." Bulma said. "She has that new baby, but who cares how much stress she's under? So how about that?" She pulled the socks off Trunks' feet. Vegeta nodded. "S' fine." He really didn't want HER to come. "I'm going to miss Trunks though! What if he forgets aboiut us, Vegeta? What then? He won't like us anymore." Vegeta snorted. "He already cries every time I try and hold him." Gohan snickered. "All I packed was 3 cans of Vienna Sausages. They're good." Vegeta said. "And for drink, we can drink the juice of it!" He likced his lips, while Bulma made a face. "I am not drinking Vienna sausage juice for my drinks." Bulma said. But she knew what Vegeta said Vegeta did so she left it at that. Vegeta packed his stuff and Bulma's stuff in the same small bag. They weren't going to take that much. He packed their two cell phones though in case he and Bulma got seperated. "Are you ready?" Bulma asked. Gohan and Vegeta nodded. "Let me take Trunks over to Chi Chi's." She picked him up. "I wanna go to." vegeta said. Gohan, you stay here." Gohan nodded.  
  
" I know your poor, Chi Chi, but you can buy eveything for Trunks anyway." Chi Chi looked very mad. "Your so rude!" She said. "I am very poor, have a baby of my own, and live all by myself with no income and your making me take care of your child! I outta sue the pants off you." Vegeta pulled out 5,000 zeni. "Here's 5,000. When you run out, call us and we'll send you more. But if you spend the money on man whores and such, I'll blow your head off." Chi Chi gulped. "Bye Trunks!" Bulma said, in tears. "We'll miss you so much!!" She hugged him so hard his eyes bugged. "If we're in the area, we will come and visit you! Oh, how I hate leaving you like this!" She covered Trunks in kisses. "Stop it!" Vegeta said. "Your DROWNING THE BABY." Bulma backed up but she was still crying. Vegeta patted Trunks on the back. "Hang in there, son. I heard Chi Chi snores, but I think you can take it. Your tough. Seeya soon." Trunks cried when Vegeta touched him, so Vegeta went back outside. "Bye Trunks." he said one last time. Bulma drew out the goodbye as long as possible.  
  
"I'm going to miss Trunks so much." Said Bulma as they were flying. She was on Vegeta's back and Gohan was flying a few feet behind. Vegeta nodded. "I'm sure you are, but you don't have to rub it in all the time." He needed to pee. "I really need to take a P*ss." He said. "We are going to have to land or something, because I'm sorry, but I really do." Bulma sighed. "Fine, that's okay, but hurry up." Vegeta and Gohan landed and let Bulma down. Vegeta went behind a bush and went to the bathroom. A few fishermen who were nearby were laughing. "ITS NOT LIKE YOU DON'T PEE TOO!" Bulma said. But they hadn't been laughing at Vegeta, so they looked at her funny. Vegeta was blushing behind the bush. He came out and pulled up his pants. "Bulma!" he said. "Your so stupid!" Bulma was also blushing. "I have to go too." Bulma said. She went to go behind the bush. "That's poison ivy." She said, pointing to the bush. "You just went pee in Poisen Ivy." Vegeta's eyes got big. He was going to have a big case of Poison Ivy in the most unpleasant place! He put Bulma on his back and they flew away. Gohan had to fly fast to keep up. Vegeta was already digging at his inner thighs. "Stop that!" Bulma said. "You need some calamine lotion." She handed him a pink bottle. He snorted. "I am not applying lotion 'down there'. I can cope with it." he grinned. Bulma thought about something. "Hey Vegeta, it'd be better if we traveled on foot so we can see the Dragon balls." Vegeta nodded. "I know, I know. But I thought we could start at the Northern Mountains because of the high elevation." Bulma nodded. The northern Mountains were about a 30 ,minute flight away.  
  
"Here we are." Said Gohan. Vegeta was itching so bad he was dancing. "Oh god!" He said. "Oh god!" He danced and danced and danced. Bulma was rolling with laughter. They landed, and Vegeta layed down on the ground. He rolled up his pants. The poison ivy was all the way down his legs. He handed the pink bottle to Bulma. "Put some on my legs!" He said. "HURRY!" so she did. It didn't help much. There were blisters from H*ll on them. "Yucky." She said. "No more fun for a while." Vegeta giggled and rolled on his tummy and watched a line of ants in front of him. "This is going to be the most boring search ever." Gohan was looking for the Dragonballs already. "I want to go home as soon as possible." He kept saying. Vegeta opened up the little back pack and took out a pocket knife. He started sawing branches off a tree. "What are you doing?" Bulma asked. "We forgot the tent." Vegeta said. "I'm going to prop up branches to make a tent so we can sleep." Bulma nodded. "I think I'll go to the river over there." She pointed to a mountain-top river a couple yards away. "Okay." Vegeta said. Bulma went over and started messing with the smooth rocks. There were fish swimming around. "I wonder what they eat." Bulma said to herself. It was hard for bugs to live in high altitudes like this. Then she notcied green algae on the rocks. "Ew! Anyone who ate these fish would seriously crawl with disease." Gohan flew over and took a look. "Hey your right! I wanna die right now, let's catch us some fish." Bulma made a face and covered the top of her eyes as she looked up at the top of the mountains. "Mountain Lions might live here." She said. "I hope we don't run into one." Gohan nodded. "Bears too. This is probley what they eat, so I don't think we should sleep by here tonight." Bulma shrugged. "Vegeta and you could fight off a bear." But Gohan wasn't so sure. An he also didn't want to sleep in Vegeta's tent, which looked like crap.  
  
Rehmon was flying around and wondering what to do. He didn't have a Dragonradar, and he only had one Dragonball. He wasn't sure if Vegeta and Gohan had one. But he didn't care. He could feel their ki somewhere in the Northern Mountains, but he was wondering if he should mess with them or not. He didn't have any reason to, so it woudlen't be smart. But then he thought of something. What if Vegeta had gotten his wife to make another one! He put 2 and 2 togather quickly. He probley HAD made her make another, so now he had a chance to have one! He flew in the direction of northern MOuntains after hiding his ki.  
  
Vegeta reached into the bag for the first can of Vienna sausage. He had to feel around for a while. He didn't feel thim, but he did feel a strange wetness."Probley Sweat." he said to himself. But after feeling around for a while and not finding them, he handed them to Bulma. "I can't find the food." he said. "You find it." Bulma had been whittling a figure out of wood. She was good at whittling. She made a B*tchy ciomment and looked in the bag. "It should be right in front of your face, Vegeta.....you have to start dfoing things for yourself....I won't be around forever." She felt the strange wetness in the bag. "Geez! Did someone P*ss in here? It's wet and it smells." She said, then she pulled out the first can her hand found. It was weird and looked SWOLLEN. "AH!" Bulma said. "Look Vegeta, it's BIG!" Vegeta looked at it. "Why is it big like that?" he said. Gohan ran over and poked it. It exploded all over him. "AGH!" He said, and he jumped in the river. "I wonder why it exploded like that." Bulma said. "Maybe it was poisened inside." Vegeta rolled his eyes. He was the Agent Scully in the situation. "I'm sure there's a perfectly logical explaination. It was probley the altitude. One time I was flying with a juice box, and it blew up in my face." Bulma nodded. There was smashed up weiners in the bag. "The others exploded!" Bulma said. She picked a few of them up. "And they went bad!" Vegeta's eyes got big. "MY WEINER IS CRUSHED!" Bulma laughed. "Your sickening!" Vegeta said. "Don't you see the severity of the situation??? We have NO FOOD!" Bulma's bright face darkened. "Oh no, Vegeta! And I'm ravenously hungry!" She rubbed her stomach. "I'm glad we didn't bring Trunks." Vegeta nodded. "I told you you shoulden't come. Humans are weaker than Saiayns. You can't survive as long without food." Bulma crossed her arms and snorted. "I can last as long as any old Saiyan. You just watch!" Gohan came back, sop and wet. "I',m hungry!" he said. There was a fish between his teeth. "Put that back!" Bulma said. "We can't eat that fish! It's swimming with disease! It eats ALGAE!!" Gohan threw it on the ground. "What are we going to do then?" Vegeta asked. "Be hungry." Bulma replied. Vegeta was mad. "I'm going to see if I can find a dragonball. You two stay here." He went off in the forest. "He's mean!" Bulma said. "I'm hungry! He should have packed something other than CANNED GOODS!" She stomped on Vegeta's pajamas. "There! He can sleep in his cold old underwear for all I care!" She kicked them in the river. They carried down a little ways and hung up on a rock. Bulma didn't notice Vegeta was on the opisite side of the river looking in it. "My pajamas!" he yowled, calling Bulma's attention. "It was an accident!" Bulma said. Vegeta jumped in the water and grabbed them. The water was muddy and dirty. It rushed in his mouth and up his nose. "Get out of there right now!" Bulma said. "That river is filthy!" Vegeta hopped out with his pajamas and hung them on a tree branch. "Thanks alot, DEAR!" He took off his wet shirt and threw it on Bulma. The horrible stench caused her to gag. "EW!" She said, and then she launched herself at Vegeta. They fought for a good 10 minutes while Gohan sat on a rock watching the fish. He noticed two little black things swimming arond with the fish.  
  
Gohan put his hand in the water under a little black thing. He thought they were called 'tadpoles' or something, but he coulden't remember. He knew they were baby frogs. The tadpole swam into his hand and gohan closed a fist around it. He brought it up to his face and studied it carefully. It was brownish green and it was flopping around. It wasn't very big, but it was big for a tadpole. Vegeta walked over, tattered and torn. He was in his underwear. There was a scratch mark on his arm. Bulma was Sitting on a rock and screaming. "Whats that?" Vegeta asked. "It's retarded." Gohan looked at it again. "it's a TADPOG, or something like that." "ITS A TADPOLE, YOU B*TCH!" Bulma yelled to Gohan. Gohan looked at Bulma with wiode eyes. "Yes, thats what it is." he said at last. Vegeta looked at it again. "Why would you touch such a disgusting thing?" Gohan brought it to his lips and sucked it in. He chewed it up and sowllowed it. Vegeta turned around and puked. "EW!" Gohan said. He didn't know what he had been thinking eating that tadpole. "That was gross!" He didn't spit the tadpole out though. He picked up another. Bulma was staring at Gohan as she patted Vegeta on the back. vegeta wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "he ate a TADPOLE!" He said. Bulma gasped. "Gohan, everything in that river is drowning with disease! You could catch something very bad from that River!" But Gohan had a minnow. It was swimming around in a little pool of water in his cupped hands. "Make a fire!" He said. "Hurry!" Bulma shook her head. "Fire won't stay lit up here in the mountains. Only a teeny tiny one would." Gohan took a match out of his pocket and struck it up.He pulled out the minnow and held it in the flames for a while. " That won't make it cooked enough to get rid of anything!" Bulma said. "What are you thinking?" Gohan popped it in his mouth. "Your supposed to gut fish you moron!" Vegeta said, bonking Gohan on the head. He washed some river water over his face. Gohan's stomach was becoming a wee upset. "I'm not hungry anymore, at least!" Gohan said. "I will survive longer than you two will." Vegeta was standing on an elevated rock. He was looking at the sunset. "It's almost dark." Vegeta said. A dense cloud of misquitos were around him, so he put an aura around himself and the minsquitos coulden't get around him. Gohan did the same. Bulma coulden't. The misquitos were biting her all over. "OU!" She said. "D*mn! I wish I could make an aura around myself!" She was also very cold, while Vegeta and Gohan could Generate body heat. She wrapped up in Vegeta's pants that he had taken off and thrown on the ground, but the misquitos bit through it. Vegeta was sitting on a rock and swishing his bare feet in the water. Bulma came and sat by him so he would keep her warm. "Get away from me." Vegeta said. "You scratched me." He showed her the ragged ugly scratch on his arm and she laughed. "But I'm COLD!" Bulma said. "But that's fine. I'll go sit by GOHAN. He's nicer because he comes from GOKU." Vegeta's eyes widened. "You can sit here." he said. He swished his feet somore and kicked a fish. He laughed.  
  
The next morning, they had decided to start following the river and looking for a dragonball. The dirty, ugly river was getting wider and wider but it was also getting clearer and clearer. "I'm so hungry!" Bulma said. "I could keel over and die!" Gohan was even hungry again, and Vegeta was ravenous. He was keeping his eye in the river at the rocks because maybe the Dragonball could be in the river. Bulma was one huge red welp where misquitos had bitten her. And she had spent the whole night shivering because Vegeta was afraid that if he put an aura around himself he would lose energy too fast. So they both had slept without a blanket or anything. Vegeta had slept in his sopping wet pajamas.  
Gohan was swimming in the river by Vegeta and Bulma who were walking on land. There was a rock in Vegeta's boot. "Hold on." He said, sitting on a rock that was jutting out of the river. "I've got a pebble in my boot." He bent over on the rock and took his boot off. Bulma leaned over to see what was wrong, and the slippery bank caused her to fall into Vegeta. He and her were pushed off the rock and fall into the water. Vegeta came up sputtering, while it took Bulma a while to. Vegeta had to go down and get her. "Why did you do that, stupid?" Vegeta asked. "Now I'm wet!" He climbed out and wrung his shirt out. "I didn't mean to, you @$$! I slipped! You didn't even check to see if I was okay!" Vegeta rolled his eyes and reapplied his boot. "No, I just brought you up to the surface because you were so stunned to ruin your so called BEAUTIFUL complexcion that you froze." Bulma scoffed. "That is NOT why I didn't come up! My SHOE was caught on a rock!" Vegeta walked on without Bulma and Gohan. Bulma and Gohan decided to swim.  
  
Pretty soon, Geeta and Bulma and Gohan came to a waterfall. It was big and ugly. Vegeta saw this as a great oppertunity. "I'm going to wash my hair in this waterfall." He said, putting his pack on a rock and taking out the mini shampoo and conditioner. he ripped off his shirt and jumped in the water with his two compainions. They were splashing eachother. "Will you stop it? I'm going to wash my hair!" He went through and behind the waterfall. There was like a little cave behind the waterfall where water was splashing up, but it was nearly impossible to see from the other side. vegeta sat down in the cave and washed his hands off. he was so hungry he thought he could eat paint chips. Then he put his hair into the waterfall and let it get wet, but it didn't come down.  
From the other side, Bulma and Gohan hoticed a disturbance in the waterfall. "Did he go BEHIND it?" Gohan asked. Bulma nodded. "I THINK so. But I wonder why. Let's go and see." Gohan nodded and they swam to the waterfall.  
Vegeta was sitting inside when Bulma and Gohan crossed over. They saw him. "Nice little cave!" Bulma said, cimbing up and plopping down by her hubby. He grunted. His hair was washed and shiny. "I hoped to be alone here for a while." he said. "But I guess I can kiss that goodbye." Vegeta heard Bulma's tummy growl. Too bad theres no fish in this part of the lake, Vegeta thought. Its much clearer here. "You HUNGRY?" he asked her. Bulma nodded. "VERY." She was also thirsty, even though she had gotten quite a big drink when she had fallen in. "You should have stayed home." Vegtea said. "I told you." Gohan was playing with a lizard. "Don't think of eating that.' Bulma said. Gohan shrugged. "I wasn't." He poked the lizard in the butt. It scurried into the water and drowned. Vegeta put his hands in the water and swished them around. He was afraid they would stink. Gohan was exploring the cave everywhere. "There's alot of cracks in here." he said. "Bats could live in here. bats with RABIES." Vegeta shrugged. "If I die of rabies, I'll have no more worries." He layed down in his little cave. It was chilly in that cave and it smelled musty.  
Gohan was looking in the water. Vegeta and Bulma were asleep because they hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. Geeta was snoring loud. Gohan noticed a big old fish in the water, but it was floating belly up. "It's dead.' he said to himself. "I wonder why." he dug it out of the water and plopped it on land. There was nothing wrong with it he could SEE physiccly."Maybe if I told Vegeta and Bulma I found the fish ALIVE, they would eat it." Gohan smelled it. It smelled absolutly HORRIBLE. But he thought it smelled good, due to his herrendous eating habits and the way he himself smelled. "Hey guys!" He said. Vegeta continued snoring, bt Bulma raised her head off his chest. "WHAT?" She said. Gohan showed her the fish. "Killed a fish!" he said. Bulma slapped Geeta on the tummy to wake him up. He growled and looked where Bulma was pointing. "A fish!" He said, jumping up and knocking Bulma down on to the hard ground. "Sorry." he mumbled and grabbed the fish. "What's the big idea?" He said. "What did you do to this fish?" Gohan shrugged. "Absolutly nothing, I say. I swear." Vegeta looked it over again. "But I haven't seen any other fish here, pretty Ironic that this fish woulden't be traveling with other fish, hm?" Bulma slapped Vegeta. "Just be happy you have a fish at all!" She said.  
  
"I don't care what you say, but I'm not eating this fish without gutting it first!" Bulma was so exited to finally eat that she was jumping up and down practicly. "Hurry!" She said. "I'm so hungry!" Vegeta took out his pocket knife. "Well enjoy it because whenever we're done, we're heading out again." Bulma groaned. Vegeta dug the knife into the fishes belly and a squirt of red guts splashed on him. "EW!" He said. "This fish explodes awfully easily!" He jumped up and washed his soiled shirt before sitting back down. He made a long, narrow slit in the fishe's tummy. When he opened it up, he was HORRIFIED. There, nesting in the guts, were hundreds of MAGGOTS! Vegeta jumped back with a girly scream. Bulma latched on to him, terrified. "What are those things?" She asked. "They're disgusting!" Vegeta didn't want to come close to it. "Explain this, Gohan! The fish coulden't possibly have been alive with all these maggots nmesting in it!" Vegeta wretched at the sight and terrible smell. Gohan whistled and kicked it back into the river. "I found it dead." he said. "But I figured it was as good as any." Vegeta roared. Bulma was glad the awful maggots were gone. "Your so stupid!" Vegeta said, and he kicked a rock into Gohan's head. Bulma hit Vegeta soflty. He grunted and sat down with his face in a corner. "I'm so hungry!" Bulma said. "I was looking forward to eating the fish!" her voice was funny, like she was about to cry. Gohan was studying the river again. Vegeta was right, there was NO FISH or turltles or anything. The waterfall probley kept them from coming here. Bulma picked up a rock and Vegeta had to stop her from eating it. "My stomach is probley eating itself!" Bulma screamed. Vegeta was very worried about her health because she coulden't last as long as Gohan and himself. "Let's go." he said. "The more often we find the dragonballs, we can go home." Bulma whined. They went into the river and swam up onto the bank.  
  
"I don't want to walk anymore!" Said Gohan. He was hovering, but Vegeta was telling him to come down. "Screw my energy! my feet hurt!" Bulma's feet really hurt from the type of shoe she was wearing, but if she complained, Vegeta would yell and say they were wasting time. But she coulden't take it anymore. "I can't walk!" She said. "We have to stop!" She was breathing labored. "D*mn it!" Vegeta said. "I knew you would pull something like this!" But that was all he said. Bulma sat down on a rock. Vegeta sat down on the ground and studied her. Gohan was playing with a flock of monkeys in the tree. Bulma JOGGED every day longer than they had been walking, and never had to rest. Then Vegeta reslized with horror she was starting to lose strength from hunger. "These monkeys do some nasty things!" Gohan said. "Wow, I never imagined--" He looked down at the serious scene. Bulma was breathing hard on a rock and Vegeta was staring at her. he was either horny or worried. "Do you want me to leave you guys alone for a while?" Gohan asked. "I know your needs as adults. I respect them, so if you need some time to do something special, you can ask me to go away." Vegeta looked up at Gohan. "It's nothing like that." He said. Gohan shrugged and went back to studying the monkeys. "I should have been raised by monkeys instead of mom." he said. Bulma got up. "We can walk again. I'm okay." Vegeta looked at the surroundings. He knew they coulden't camp there, because it was rocky terrain. "I'll carry you." He said. Bulma shook her head. "I can walk, you monster. I'll get fat. No way." Vegeta shook HIS head. "Nope. You can't walk." he tried to think of an allibi that woulden't make him look like a loser. "Your sandal is broken." She looked at it. "No it's not." She replied. Vegeta went over and took the sandaled foot in his hand. Then he ripped the strap. "HEY!" Bulma said. "Now it is." Vegeta said. he noticed her legs were one big bug bite. EW. Bulma shrugged and let vegeta carry her baby style. Gohan landed. "Why can't I be carried?" he asked. "I have special needs too." Nobody cared about Gohan's special needs. "Just because you want to look down her blouse doesn't meen you have to carry her." Gohan grumbled. Bulma's eyes widened. "Is that TRUE?" She asked. "How you can find me attractive with all these bugs bites on me?" Vegeta didn't say anything. "it's VERY flattering." She added. Vegeta grinned, but kept silent.  
  
"We can sleep here." Vegeta said. They had walked almost the intire Northern Mountains. He dropped Bulma on a cushy grassy spot. She was alot lighter than when he had carried her over the threshold. There were some Birdys a couple yards away. "Maybe I can shoot a birdy!" Gohan said. "That'll be good." Bulma made a face. "Birds carry diseases like Meningitus and West Nile Virus!" "If You keep being so picky, you will starve to death." Vegeta said. She had already gone for 3 and a half days without anything to eat. So had Vegeta, but he was a Saiyan so it wasn't really bothering him. Gohan had eaten some nasty things on the way there, like Beetles and even a feild mouse. "I don't want to be sick." Bulma said. "And some people can go for 10 days without eating anything." "Only people who are used to being starved." Vegeta said. "Like anorexics, or abused people. Your not either one of those people." Vegeta was used to being starved because sometimes he liked to starve himself so he could train longer. "here's some frogs." Gohan said. "My dad eats frog legs." He jumped after one to try and catch it, and when he did, he approached proudly with his prize. "Like it?" He said. "You can eat this, Bulma." Vegeta slapped it out of his hand. "That's absurd, you B*tch! Nobody here is going to eat a FROG." Gohan's face grew angry. "You obviously don't know anything, you man screwer! Frogs are very good!" Vegeta looked at the frog on the ground. He thought, "No way am I going to make my wife eat a frog" but then he looked at her stomach wear her shirt wasn't covering. Her ribs were clearly exposed so he could count eat one. He picked it up. It P*ssed all over his hand. He counted the idea out. "Do you think you can make it through the night?" Vegeta asked BUlma. Bulma wobbly got up. "Sure I can!" She said. "I'm still as strong as ever." She ran in two circles, and then collapsed. Vegeta picked her up and put her back on the fluffy patch of grass. Then he went to the pack and dug through it, hoping for ANYTHING she could eat. She had had plenty to drink, because Vegeta had bought water bottles. There was nothing but a set of training clothes, some of Bulma's clothes, some of Gohan's, a walkman, a compass, a bloody pocket knife, and an extra pair of boots for vegeta. He thought they might as well throw Bulma's clothes out, because they were way too big now. She was wearing her tightest pair of pants and was still having to hold them up. "I wish you were a moth." Vegeta said. "Then you could eat this cloothes." he imagined Bulma as moth. It wasn't pretty. Bulma sat up and played with the grass.  
  
Rehmon was resting on a rock. About 3 days ago, he had been intent on intercepting Vegeta and his party to kill them, but as he was flying, he started feeling really faint. The area where the bats had bit him was puffy and weeping and throbbing with pain. He had been forced to sit down. but he had fallen asleep. And that's what he had done for the next three days almost, was sleep. He had woken up a few times and eaten or went to the bathroom, but that's all.  
  
Vegeta coulden't sleep. There were too many sounds in the forest. he was also very cold, even though Bulma was asleep on top of him so he could hear if she stopped breathing. Gohan was asleep in a tree because he was so mad at Vegeta for insulting his frog theory that he coulden't sleep. Vegeta had seen a snake once, crawling dangerously close to where he was. He half way hoped it would bite him so he woulden't have to worry about anything anymore.  
  
The following morning, vegeta was so hungry, HE was starting to weaken. Bulma was in a pitiful state. She could barely walk a yard she was so weak. She was still laying in her fluffy spot. Gohan was feasting on frogs. Vegeta felt the rubbery feeling in his thihgs when he got up that morning, and knew he needed food. But he didn't want to eat too much or he would get fat. He looked at Gohan chasing the frogs and considered them for a moment. He rejected the idea even though he looked like a ferret. "I'm going into the woods to find something for me to eat." He said. "My strength is very important to me and I seem to be losing it. I'm going to go see what I can find." Bulma nodded. Vegeta thought of telling her to stop being so pathetic and get up, but it was his fault. He walked into the woods until he could see them no longer. he looked about him all around, but saw nothing. Nothing but a bog and the clear river. They only had about a mile left of Northern Moontains, then they would go down into the northern wastelands. "I've got to eat so I will stay strong." he told himself and looked once again. His eyes fell on some pecans high up in a tree. Just enough for him. 1 person. He smiled to himself. "I managed to find food for ME. Now I won't be hungry anymore." He flew up and picked all of them. Sure enough, there was only enough for one person. Himself. he gathered them in his greedy arms and flew back to camp. "Look what I did!" He said. I managed to find enough food for one person. Me." Bulma nodded. "That's great." She said. Vegeta looked at her laying on the soft patch of grass. Tnen he looked at Gohan, chewing on a mint leaf. Vegeta cracked one of the nuts. he coulden't wait to regain to full strength. As he raised it to his lips, he looked over at Bulma. Her eyes were closed. he wondered what it would be like to her if that was her death bed. He looked down at his food. Then he walked over to the soft patch of grass and put all the nuts on Bulma's tummy. he was so humiliated at the act he could barely stand it. "Here. You need it more than i do." He thought about his strength again and almost snatched them away. Bulma looked at the nuts. "Thanks honey, but you found them." She said. "They're YOUR nuts. They don't belong to me." Vegeta sat down by her. "I'm giving them to you. Or could we at least share?" Bulma nodded and ate a nut. Gohan romped over. "So I have to eat the gruel?" They both nodded, eating their nuts. "Just because I know how to forage for myself unlike you two, I don't get anything good, is that it?" They nodded. Gohan humped and went to find some tadpoles.  
  
By that afternoon, Bulma felt great. She could get up again and run in as many circles as she wanted, But Vegeta knew that those nuts woulden't fill him or her up for long. They hadn't even satisfied his hunger. As they walked through the Northern Mountains, Vegeta looked for more things to eat. he still felt weak. As he looked around, Gohan ran as fast as he could behind a bush. "What wrong with you?" Vegeta asked. Bulma heard strange noises from the bushes. "Vegeta, I think he's sick!" She said. Her and Vegeta ran behind the bush. Gohan was throwing fup everything he had eaten. "EW!" Vegeta said. "Frogs and tadpoles don't mix." Bulma said. Gohan came up sputtering. "Boy am I hungry. But let's go." Vegeta looked at him awkwardly and looked around for wither a dragonball or food. he hoped that maybe the northern wastlends would have food.  
  
When they got to the end of the mountains, after the downfall, into the wastelands, the river seemed to dry. "Okay!" Bulma said. "We need to gather water." She looked ahead of her at the desert like place. It was full of dead trees and fallen leaves. There were cacti also. She dipped her water bottle into the stream. Vegeta wiped sweat off his forehead. "It's sweltering here." he said. The weakness of hunger was getting even worse. Bulma filled up Gohan and Vegeta's water and even filled up the tape deck on the walkman with it. "Okay." She said."We can go." Gohan sat on the ground. "It's so hot!" He said. "And I'm hungry!" Bulma shrugged. She didn't know what to do about that.  
  
When rehmon woke up from his nap he felt better, but not totally good. So he got up anyway and decided to fly toward the northern mountains. He didn't sense the kis of Vegeta and Gohan anymore(Because they were so weak from bein hungry). But he figured they were hiding their ki and were still there, so Thats where he decided to go.  
  
Geeta was walking along a little trail. Bulma was behind him and Gohan behind her. There was dead tree branches that kept falling, so he was looking up at the sky, not where he was walking. Bulma was staring at her own feet, and Gohan was keeping his eye out for snakes. So nobody realized Vegeta's oncoming plight. Vegeta saw something ahead of him. It was small and spiny. "get out of my way or I'll squash you." Bulma and Gohan barely heard him. Bulma was thinking that she was already getting hungry again and Gohan was thinking that maybe he should find more frogs. Vegeta stopped in front of it, and Bulma ran into the back of him. She didn't ask why he stopped, she just stared at the sweat running down his back. Gohan didn't even notice he HAD stopped. Vegeta raised his foot over the spiny creature. His Boots weren't on right now because they were making his feet sore. "I'm going to squash you if you don't move." He said. The creature stood it's ground. "Okay." Vegeta said. "I'll have to stomp you now!" Vegeta brought his foot down on the porcupine. "OWWWWWWWWW!" He screamed. 15 barbed spines drove themselves into his foot and the creature ran away. Vegeta rolled on the ground and screamed. "Are you okay?" Bulma asked. "You seem hurt!" She kneeled by Vegeta. "DUH! I have something hurty in my foot!" He pointed. Bulma noticed it was a purplish red swollen mass. 15 brown spines stuck out of it. "You stepped on a porcupine." She said. "I bet that hurts!" Bulma went around to look at it. She touched one of them, and Vegeta kicked. She backed off. "If you kick me I can't get them out!" She said. "And they're barbed, so the more you move the more it will hurt." Gohan was looking at Vegeta's foot. 'Why don't you just YANK um out?" He asked. Bulma glared at Gohan. "You try being in Vegeta's shoes." Gohan pulled on Vegeta's boots. "Get UM OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!" Vegggie yelled. "HURRRRRRRRY!" Bulma touched one again and he howled. "Hush!" She said. "You big old baby!" She pulled one out and Vegeta yelled and kicked. His good foot k9icked Bulma in the stomach and sent her rolling. "OW!" She said. "You B*st*rd! You @$$!" She went over, grabbed his injured foot, and pushed the spines in deeper. Vegeta screamed in agony and rolled. "I'm not getting them out now." Bulma said. "I don't care if you gave me some stupid nuts." Vegeta hwoled and wailed. "Just get them out so he'll shut up." Gohan said. he fell over in the oversized boots. Bulma decided that the only way to get them out quietly was to knock her hubby out. So she yanked on one. The pain caused Vegeta to faint.  
  
When Vegeta woke up, Bulma was RIGHT in his face. Her big blue eyes blinked. "Hi Vegeta!" She said. She put some water in his cracked and swollen lips. "Hi." He murmered, and looked down at his foot. The spines were all out. "I pulled them out while you were fainted." Bulma said. "But you even screamed in your sleep." Vegeta turned his head away. It was night time. Gohan was asleep on a rock nearby, still wearing vegeta's shoes. "Why is he weariong my Saiayn Boots?" Vegeta asked. he waqnted to pull them off. "I don't know. But it's cute." Bulma said. Vegeta sat up. "Let's go right now and leave him here." Bulma cocked her head. "Why is that?" Vegeta grinned. "Because theres some things I want to do that he can't see." Bulma grunted and went to the bag. She took a big drink of the water bottle. "I called Chi Chi one the phone." She said, and she gave the bottle to Vegeta. "She said Trunks is giving her H*ll." Vegeta shrugged. "That's my boy." He said. Bulma laughed sarcastic. "She said she wishes we never brough Trunks to her and that he Is a spolied brat." Vegeta snorted. He was chugging down the water. "She had no right to say things like that about a kid that isn't hers. Its not her fault she's a poor lady." Water was dribbling down Vegeta's throat. It was a nasty sight. "You'd better not drink a whole lot." Bulma said. "Remember, we only have three water bottles full and a tape deck." Vegeta laughed. "You filled the TAPE DECK? It all ran out the cracks." Bulma groaned. "I figured it would do that. But I wanted as much water as we could carry." One of Vegeta's boots slid off Gohan's foot and thumped to the ground. Vegeta flopped back down and looked at the stars. He was very tired. And very hungry. "I really need something to eat." Vegeta said. "I'll go find something!" Bulma said. Vegeta shook his head. "You could get raped by yourself." Bulma came and layed by Vegeta. "Gohan should be awake to do our bidding." She said. "He's a kid. He has to listen to us. Why not wake um up?" "Because I don't want to hear him whine." Vegeta said. He kissed Bulma. She took another drink. She was so thristy she could pass out. "Maybe there's more nuts around here." She said, whipping her head around. Her hair slapped Vegeta in the face. It was terribly gross to him. he didn't like touching other people's hair. "May be." Vegeta said. "But I doubt it. They're not in season now. The only reason I found those ones was on sheer luck." He wiped more sweat from his brow. "It's hot here even at night." He said. Bulma was silent. "Let's play a game to pass the time." She said. "What kind of 'game'?" He asked. "I spy." Bulma said. Vegeta groaned. "D*mn. I thought you meant another type of game." Bulma wondered how he could want to at a time like this. "It spy something black." Bulma said. Vegeta acted suprised. "Oh, I don't know, the only big black thing there is right now--It's the sky!" Bulma shok her head. "No that's not it, smart @$$. It's so hard you'll never figure it out." Vegeta looked around. "Gohan's hair." he said. "Gohan's eyes." Bulma shook her head at both. "Nope." "The mud.".Vegeta said. "The mud is brown, you idiot.' Bulma said. "And that's not it. Its your eyes. Your eyes are black." Vegeta frowned. "You didn't have to be mean." he said. "I spy something blue." Bulma thought. "It's my eyes!" She laughed Because Vegeta was so predictable. He yawned. "I'm tired. I'm going to sleep." He said. Then he rolled over.  
  
it was morning. Vegeta opened his eyes. His head felt all swimmy. He noticed Bulma wasn't next to him and Gohan was not on the rock. His only guess was that they had gone looking for food. When he got up, his vision went black for a few seconds and his thighs felt rubbery as well as his arms and abs. He was sad because he was all alone.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------  
  
end of chappie 2 


End file.
